Cheerleading

This is the coolest cheerleading routine I've ever seen. I saw it on Facebook about a month ago, and it has since altered my expectations of what cheer-leading should really be like. I've been to a few of my husband's little brother's basektball games since watching it, and have noticed that I've been comparing their cheerleaders with these phenomenal, almost impossible athletes.

It got me thinking, what other expectations do I have because of the media? This reminded me of Elder Bednar's talk on social media, saying that we need to be authentic in our messages online. If we are not authentic and consistent in who we are, it can hurt others. I'm not saying this cheerleading video is hurtful, just that this realization is one reason I've decided to cut back on my own social media usage. It is impossible not to subconsciously compare yourself to all of the filters and prime moments presented on Instagram, Facebook, etc. We need to use social media for good--to be disciples of Christ. I'm so grateful for modern day prophets who help guide us.

We should not allow even good applications of social media to overrule the better and best uses of our time, energy, and resources.

-Elder Bednar 

"Social Aggression, Social Media, and the Perils of Lurking Online"

Recently I've been thinking a lot about my own media use, and limiting my time on social media. Last week, I attended a lecture that brought me a lot of insight for life now and the future. Because it's so important and helped me, I wanted to share it with you all!

The lecture "Social Aggression, Social Media, and the Perils of Lurking Online" was by scholar Marion K. Underwood. Here are some things I learned from her:

• When children know their parents monitor their social media use, their distress lowers.
• Look for nonverbal and verbal social aggression (something that harms others, damaging friendships and social status). This could even be your child's friend posting a picture that your child wasn't included in...so it's basically impossible to do. You never know how your children feel personally. Talk to them!
• Social aggression comes from gender stereotyping. Girls exclude others from toddler age because they are taught not to say something mean--they just exclude instead. We need to prevent nonverbal social aggression from the beginning. 
• Parents first need to stop modeling this in their own lives: you can't talk badly about someone behind their back (in front of your children), exclude others, gossip, etc. 
• Interrupt social aggression when you see it among your children! The example Dr. Underwood gave was when she was hosting a birthday party for her young daughter. One of her daughter's friends said, "Let's talk about who's the most popular girl at school!" Dr. Underwood said, "No, not in my house. That will hurt feelings." 
• Children need to be taught how to handle social aggression with their friends. They need to be defenders--those who stand up against a bully. To do this, they can say "That's not very nice." or even just change the subject. Research shows that once one person does this, the social aggression stops and doesn't return during that conversation!
• Dr. Underwood's suggestions for monitoring social media:
• Don't allow phones at night, during meals, or during car rides. 
• Talk to your children about their online social lives.
• Join the platforms your children are on. 
• Limit your child's time and involvement on social media.

Was that all that was required?

I often listen to the talk "Worthy of Our Promised Blessings" by Sister Linda S. Reeves. It was one of my favorites from the most recent sessions of General Conference.

My favorite quote:

"I do not know why we have the many trials that we have, but it is my personal feeling that the reward is so great, so eternal and everlasting, so joyful and beyond our understanding that in that day of reward, we may feel to say to our merciful, loving Father, "Was that all that was required?" I believe that if we could daily remember and recognize the depth of that love our Heavenly Father and our Savior have for us, we would be willing to do anything to be back in Their presence again, surrounded by Their love eternally. What will it matter, dear sisters [and brothren], what we suffered here if, in the end, those trials are the very things which qualify us for eternal life and exaltation in the kingdom of God with our Father and Savior?"

At first when I heard this, I was touched deeply. Then it soon started to make me feel inadequate that I still struggle with my trials and have not yet reached this perspective. But as I've thought, listened, and pondered this beautiful truth, I have gained a greater testimony of the Plan of Salvation. I know God has a plan for me, and I know that I can count on my Savior to help me through every single trial that comes my way. This makes me want so badly to keep an eternal perspective and realize how great the reward will be.

What is your song?

Last week, I had a powerful lecture in my Media class on music. We went through many research findings on how influential music is in our lives. I want to share with you a few facts that I thought were impactful.

• Lyrics have more of an influence on your behavior than the tone of the music does. 
• Music is the most used type of media for personal identity and mood. 
• Listening to prosocial music (positive, helpful behavior) increases prosocial behavior, increases empathy, and decreases behavior that is not prosocial. 
• Listening to 20 minutes of classical music before bed helps you sleep better and decreases depression. 
• Those who listen to more sexual music have sex earlier and more frequently. 
• Hospice patients said they felt more in tune with their God on days when they listened to music.

So basically, music has a HUGE impact on our life--and we need to do our part to make sure it's helping, not hurting, us. 

We ended the lesson by figuring out this question: If you could be summarized in a song, what would it be? We referred to Soldier by Gavin Degras, which was the choice of a student (Ashley Cox) who, a week after having the music lecture, died in an avalanche. I had never heard this song before and wished there were more positive, uplifting songs that can inspire and motivate us to do good. 

I love this song called "Give Me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath--I heard it in my early teens (on KLove:) )and I've loved it's message ever since:

What would be your song? I'd love to hear and get new suggestions for uplifting songs to listen to!