Compliments

I received two compliments from strangers last week that really touched me. I think those are often the most sincere of compliments, when someone goes out of their way to tell you something when they don't even know you. 

A few weeks ago in church, a speaker gave an analogy about an orange. He said that when you squeeze an orange, you expect orange juice to come out of it, not apple juice or watermelon juice. He then said something to the extent that when you squeeze, you get what is put into the fruit. He then likened this analogy to Laman, Lemual, and Nephi. When trials came for them, what they put in is what they got out. Laman and Lemual were complainers, so when trials came, they naturally complained about it. Nephi sought the Lord in his life and strove to follow Him, so when trials came, he naturally sought direction from God and submitted to His will.

Yesterday, I was pondering what I can be doing to be a better person. I felt prompted that I should seek to be more careful about what I put in--into myself and into others. If I put in kind words, compliments, faith, and testimony, that is what will come out when trials come.

I was able to attend Women's Conference last week, and one of my favorite talks was titled "Speak Up and Speak Out," by Sister Pearce, based on a talk from President Nelson. She quoted President Nelson:

"We need women who know how to make important things happen by their faith and who are courageous defenders of morality and families in a sin-sick world. We need women who are devoted to shepherding God’s children along the covenant path toward exaltation; women who know how to receive personal revelation, who understand the power and peace of the temple endowment; women who know how to call upon the powers of heaven to protect and strengthen children and families; women who teach fearlessly."

I love this quote and think it applies for both men and women: as we "Speak Up and Speak Out," we will put in truth, confidence, kindness, power, and charity. When trials come, we will have God's help and know how to act and know what to say. As we follow Him, He will guide us and strengthen us.  

Taking a stand against Carl's Jr.

This semester, my favorite class was called Media, Family, and Human Development. I loved it because it taught me so much about the media--the good, the bad, the ugly. I feel so much more aware of the presence of the media in my life, and feel a strong sense to do my part in monitoring it and trying to make the world a little better through it.

I try to do this already with this blog and other social media posts by sharing goodness. But our final assignment for the class was actually to write a letter to anyone we wanted, asking for some sort of change. Most of my class (~80 people) actually decided to gang up on Carl's Jr., who sexualize women in their advertising campaign. We learned in class that companies basically have to take a second look or make a change when they receive so many complaints about their advertising.

This assignment made me want to be more active in responding to the media, because each voice can actually help make a difference. I've realized that we don't have to just avoid or ignore negative media, we can actively take a stand against it to make the world a better place. Not only that, we can thank media influencers who produce positive, inspiring, and uplifting media. We can safeguard and arm our families as we do so.

13th Article of Faith

Angels

When I was little, my favorite bed-time song my mom sang to me was called "Angel Lullaby." I still vividly remember how safe it made me feel as I drifted off to sleep.

In my New Testament class this week, a quote from Elder Holland was given about angels--about how we need to talk about angels and bear testimony of them. This struck me because I recently was able to have a very sacred experience where I felt the presence of a specific angel, my sweet, stillborn niece, baby Jane. I've also had other experiences where I've felt a specific angel helping me or comforting me and I've definitely seen angels in people around me.

Elder Holland has given amazing talks about angels, and I want to add my testimony to His that I know that angels exist, and that they surround us, helping us more than we realize. They are Divine Signatures from God.

"From the beginning down through the dispensations, God has used angels as His emissaries in conveying love and concern for His children."

"Usually such beings are not seen. Sometimes they are. But seen or unseen they are always near." 

 "I testify  of angels, both the heavenly and the mortal kind. In doing so I am testifying that God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face...the Father of us all is watching and assisting. And always there are angels who come and go all around us, seen and unseen, known and unknown, mortal and immortal." 

"May we all believe more readily in, and have more gratitude for, the Lord's promise as contained in one of President Monson's favorite scriptures: 'I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left,..my Spirit shall be in your [heart], and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.' 

In the process of praying for those angels to attend us, may we all try to be a little more angelic ourselves--with a kind word, a strong arm, a declaration of faith and 'the covenant wherewith [we] have covenanted.' Perhaps then we can be emissaries sent from God." 

Elder Holland, "The Ministry of Angels," 2008

#Hallelujah

Happy Easter, everyone!

I love the video The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints made this year. It is a great reminder to me of the love our Savior has for us, and the miraculous gift of the atonement available to all of us. "Jesus Christ died for us, and lived again. Follow Him and find new life. Discover how." 

I am so grateful for my Savior. 

Hallelujah.

Feminism

I never really liked saying I was a feminist, because I've always felt like that word implies extreme feminism. But really, I'm a supporter of women and #fairnessforall.

A few weeks ago, I watched a video in one of my classes that really changed my perspective and was a Divine Signature of direction for my life. It was called Miss Representation, and is a documentary about sexism in the media and America. 

This movie made me want to be more active and involved in my community, family, and church. It just made me want to be a better, stronger, smarter woman! It made me want to teach others about the sexism in American media and start a movement to change the world! Such a great movie. (Warning: we watched it edited. There is pretty extreme content in it)

Here are some of my notes from the movie: 

• 65% of women and girls have eating disorders, and depression doubled from 2000-2010
• Women spend more money on makeup than on their entire education. 
• The media makes girls learn to see themselves as objects, making them more likely to be depressed and have lower GPAs, self-worth, political efficacy, and cognitive abilities
• While women are 50% of the US, only 17% of Congress are women
• There are 34 female governors compared to 2300 male governors
• Iraq, Cuba, and Afghanistan have more women in politics than the US does
• There are hardly ever girl protagonists, and even chick-flicks revolve around men's lives. It's always about getting a man 
• When women are shown as action heroes, they are still objectified and for male viewers
• If female leaders are shown, they sacrificed their family and life to get there
• 70% of all characters on TV are men
• TV was part of re-domestication (getting women back in the home) after WWII when women had taken over the jobs (Think I Love Lucy)
• There is a media gender bias. In news articles, journalists introduce male quotes as "stated" and female quotes as "complained" or another emotional adjective. Women are 2x more likely to be described as emotional
• Female newscasters are always objectified! Katy Couric tried to change this by being modest, and all of her reviews were about her appearance 
• Congress is comprised of the fewest amount of women in 30 years 
• In G rated movies, the women are just as likely to be wearing as revealing clothing as shown in R rated movies

So here is what I've gotten out of this. I need to be engaged in my community and church. I need to be a strong, confident, educated woman to be an example to those around me. I need to be a critical viewer of the media and the gender bias so that I can teach my future children to do the same. I need to be more involved in politics. Lastly, I need to share this information with others (hence the blog), because informing is the first step to fix all of these problems. 

Is Harry Potter the Solution to all Your Problems?

I originally wrote this post for Bookroo, and it looks way better there :) Check it out! 

I’m currently reading the Harry Potter series...for the first time. I know, I know--what took me so long?!

Coincidentally, in one of my Human Development classes I recently read a research study called “Putting Harry Potter on the Bench” by Colman Noctor. It proposed something that intrigued me: Harry Potter is the solution to our problems.

Now that sounds a little funny.

The study is from a clinical psychotherapy treatment center where they use Therapeutic Story Time. Early on, the director was having trouble connecting to the youth. But it was all changed for the better when the he brought in Harry Potter. Suddenly, the youth opened up about problems they had never discussed before. They talked about their biggest fears and made significant, life-changing goals because they were using Harry Potter to describe their situations and help them overcome their problems. Here are some examples of how the youth applied Harry Potter:

• The Patronus Charm: This taught the youth to think of the happiest thought they have when they are feeling depressed or overcome by sadness (a.k.a., the dementors).
• The Mirror of Erised: The youth talked about what their hopes and dreams are. As the weeks continued and they revisited this topic, their goals helped them improve and work through their problems.
• The Boggarts: In a group discussion, everyone took a turn saying what the boggart would form if they were in front of it. With this prompt, they began sharing their greatest fears. But instead of focusing on the problem, they would say, like in Harry Potter, how to “solve” the problem. Just as Harry learned to use humor to cope with his greatest fear, the teenagers verbalized how they could similarly implement humor to help them cope with their greatest fears.
• Lord Voldemort: Everyone has bad things in their lives they have to defeat. The youth discussed how these hardships are part of us, but overcoming them makes us stronger.

This study amazed me. It reminded me of the power of books. Now, Harry Potter most likely won’t help you through all of your problems, but other books can. Pride and Prejudice can help you learn to not judge others. Les Miserables can inspire you to become a better person, like Jean Valjean. The books you read are always teaching you something.

Here’s a personal example. I couldn’t say my R’s until second grade. I vividly remember reading Wodney Wat (a book we sent out a few months ago in our picture book boxes), and how it made me not to feel alone--that there were others who struggled just as I did.

Now, I’m not saying all that all books teach healthy lessons. We need to be careful about what books we read because they all impact us.

So what are your children learning from their books? Maybe they’re learning knowledge, such as numbers, colors, and animals. Or perhaps they’re learning manners and kindness when they read about friendship and respect. Have they learned how to stand up to bullies from Harry standing up to Malfoy?

Books are powerful. Their messages help us cope with problems and challenge us to be better.

What is your favorite book, and how has it helped you? What about your child’s favorite book?

Research and Thoughts on Pornography

I recently had a lecture in one of my classes regarding sexual media and pornography. I felt a prompting during the class to write a post about what I learned, because this information is too important not to share.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has so many valuable resources to help arm us against pornography. Yet Latter-day Saints have a stigma about pornography that isn't quite right. Pornography is shamed because its effects have scared us. But we can't let it scare us anymore! We need to be informed about the negative effects of pornography, but we also need to realize that SO many people are struggling with it. Yet it's not often that someone shares their experience of struggling through or overcoming this trial in Sunday School, Relief Society, Priesthood, or Sacrament Meeting. Why? Because of the stigma. We need to change our culture to be more understanding, accepting, loving, and helpful; to "mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort." (Mosiah 18:9) 

Pornography is everywhere. Every single person will be exposed to pornography at least once in their lifetime--so EVERYONE needs to learn how to combat it. If you don't struggle with it, your child, sibling, spouse, or friend will.

This is some of the research gathered at Brigham Young University regarding pornography use among Latter-day Saints that we talked about in class:

• Among BYU students, 35% admitted to viewing pornography in the last 12 months (Nelson et al. 2011). (This is more likely estimated to be 80%, but many are not willing to report their use.)
• These people also reported lower levels of identity development and self worth, and higher levels of depression. 
• Pornography use is rising among women.
• Religious men use pornography less than non-religious men.
• Religious men are less likely to have an addiction to pornography, but more likely to call their use an "addiction" because of the pressures and shaming in the religious culture. 
• A minority of pornography users are truly addicted to pornography: 10-15%.

So how do we combat pornography and help safeguard our families? 

• Elder Oaks has recently placed more emphasis on the use of pornography. He talks about the levels of usage and what actually constitutes an addiction--Latter-day Saints are too quick to use the term "addiction" to describe someone's struggle, which can worsen their situation and make them feel trapped. 
• Elder Oaks also gave four suggestions regarding our attitudes about pornography:
• Acknowledge the evil
• Seek the help of the Lord and His servants
• Do all that you can to avoid pornography
• Do not patronize pornography
• Use this Family Home Evening lesson to teach your family about pornography. 
• This video is a great, recent tool to teach children how to react to seeing pornography.
• Here is a helpful "Can do" motto to remember what to do if you see pornography: 

Cheerleading

This is the coolest cheerleading routine I've ever seen. I saw it on Facebook about a month ago, and it has since altered my expectations of what cheer-leading should really be like. I've been to a few of my husband's little brother's basektball games since watching it, and have noticed that I've been comparing their cheerleaders with these phenomenal, almost impossible athletes.

It got me thinking, what other expectations do I have because of the media? This reminded me of Elder Bednar's talk on social media, saying that we need to be authentic in our messages online. If we are not authentic and consistent in who we are, it can hurt others. I'm not saying this cheerleading video is hurtful, just that this realization is one reason I've decided to cut back on my own social media usage. It is impossible not to subconsciously compare yourself to all of the filters and prime moments presented on Instagram, Facebook, etc. We need to use social media for good--to be disciples of Christ. I'm so grateful for modern day prophets who help guide us.

We should not allow even good applications of social media to overrule the better and best uses of our time, energy, and resources.

-Elder Bednar 

"Social Aggression, Social Media, and the Perils of Lurking Online"

Recently I've been thinking a lot about my own media use, and limiting my time on social media. Last week, I attended a lecture that brought me a lot of insight for life now and the future. Because it's so important and helped me, I wanted to share it with you all!

The lecture "Social Aggression, Social Media, and the Perils of Lurking Online" was by scholar Marion K. Underwood. Here are some things I learned from her:

• When children know their parents monitor their social media use, their distress lowers.
• Look for nonverbal and verbal social aggression (something that harms others, damaging friendships and social status). This could even be your child's friend posting a picture that your child wasn't included in...so it's basically impossible to do. You never know how your children feel personally. Talk to them!
• Social aggression comes from gender stereotyping. Girls exclude others from toddler age because they are taught not to say something mean--they just exclude instead. We need to prevent nonverbal social aggression from the beginning. 
• Parents first need to stop modeling this in their own lives: you can't talk badly about someone behind their back (in front of your children), exclude others, gossip, etc. 
• Interrupt social aggression when you see it among your children! The example Dr. Underwood gave was when she was hosting a birthday party for her young daughter. One of her daughter's friends said, "Let's talk about who's the most popular girl at school!" Dr. Underwood said, "No, not in my house. That will hurt feelings." 
• Children need to be taught how to handle social aggression with their friends. They need to be defenders--those who stand up against a bully. To do this, they can say "That's not very nice." or even just change the subject. Research shows that once one person does this, the social aggression stops and doesn't return during that conversation!
• Dr. Underwood's suggestions for monitoring social media:
• Don't allow phones at night, during meals, or during car rides. 
• Talk to your children about their online social lives.
• Join the platforms your children are on. 
• Limit your child's time and involvement on social media.

Was that all that was required?

I often listen to the talk "Worthy of Our Promised Blessings" by Sister Linda S. Reeves. It was one of my favorites from the most recent sessions of General Conference.

My favorite quote:

"I do not know why we have the many trials that we have, but it is my personal feeling that the reward is so great, so eternal and everlasting, so joyful and beyond our understanding that in that day of reward, we may feel to say to our merciful, loving Father, "Was that all that was required?" I believe that if we could daily remember and recognize the depth of that love our Heavenly Father and our Savior have for us, we would be willing to do anything to be back in Their presence again, surrounded by Their love eternally. What will it matter, dear sisters [and brothren], what we suffered here if, in the end, those trials are the very things which qualify us for eternal life and exaltation in the kingdom of God with our Father and Savior?"

At first when I heard this, I was touched deeply. Then it soon started to make me feel inadequate that I still struggle with my trials and have not yet reached this perspective. But as I've thought, listened, and pondered this beautiful truth, I have gained a greater testimony of the Plan of Salvation. I know God has a plan for me, and I know that I can count on my Savior to help me through every single trial that comes my way. This makes me want so badly to keep an eternal perspective and realize how great the reward will be.

What is your song?

Last week, I had a powerful lecture in my Media class on music. We went through many research findings on how influential music is in our lives. I want to share with you a few facts that I thought were impactful.

• Lyrics have more of an influence on your behavior than the tone of the music does. 
• Music is the most used type of media for personal identity and mood. 
• Listening to prosocial music (positive, helpful behavior) increases prosocial behavior, increases empathy, and decreases behavior that is not prosocial. 
• Listening to 20 minutes of classical music before bed helps you sleep better and decreases depression. 
• Those who listen to more sexual music have sex earlier and more frequently. 
• Hospice patients said they felt more in tune with their God on days when they listened to music.

So basically, music has a HUGE impact on our life--and we need to do our part to make sure it's helping, not hurting, us. 

We ended the lesson by figuring out this question: If you could be summarized in a song, what would it be? We referred to Soldier by Gavin Degras, which was the choice of a student (Ashley Cox) who, a week after having the music lecture, died in an avalanche. I had never heard this song before and wished there were more positive, uplifting songs that can inspire and motivate us to do good. 

I love this song called "Give Me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath--I heard it in my early teens (on KLove:) )and I've loved it's message ever since:

What would be your song? I'd love to hear and get new suggestions for uplifting songs to listen to! 

High School Memories

Recently, Davis High Dance Company has been spotlighted in the news (i.e. people.com--go read it!) due to an inspiring team member named Gabe. He has no arms and legs, yet contributes to the Dance Co. and is an example to others to do your best and always be happy.

As I've seen these highlights in the news, it's made me reflect on my high school experience. I am so grateful for the great school I went to, the many lessons I learned there, and the blessings it brought. Here are just a few:

• I had THE best friends anyone could ask for--and still do!
• I learned that while school is important, a balanced life is essential.
• I had so much fun! It's crazy to me that so many college friends didn't enjoy their high school years. 
• I had fantastic teachers who were great examples to me. I still think of them often and am grateful for their influence in my life--whether they encouraged me, challenged me, or taught me different ways to think and view the world, many changed my life in little ways. (Do any of you Davis grads still have Emerson quotes memorized???)
• I was able to be involved--I loved being on Dance Company. Now that I'm not able to dance anymore, I often think of those good times, have a dance run through my head, or laugh from memories I made with wonderful people. 

Overall, I feel so lucky for the wonderful life I've had. There are so many good people in this world to learn from! And the best part is that life just keeps getting better :)

So here are some really great photos showing some blasts from my past--enjoy!

Don't Worry, Be Happy (*Insert whistling here*)

Recently I saw a blog post trending on Facebook. The girl who wrote it went to see Al Fox Carraway speak. During the meeting, the author received a personal prompting: "You're living the Gospel wrong." She noticed she wasn't as happy as Al seemed and knew she needed to change. I also recently had the opportunity of listening to Al, and I realized I need to be more joyful as well.

That's what the gospel is about--the Plan of Happiness. President Uchtdorf recently said that we should be "living the gospel joyfully, with all our heart, might, mind, and soul." He also taught that we should be able to say that the gospel "works wonderfully" in our lives!

The blog post about Al Fox Carraway made me take a personal inventory: Am I living the gospel right? Is it working as well as it should in my life? Am I letting it buoy me up and make me joyful?

So. I'm challenging myself to be more happy--everyday! Maybe I'll copy this little hero of mine... ;)

Recognize Divinity

Last week the president of BYU (Pres. Worthen) gave a wonderful devotional on seeking positive relationships. I've been pondering on his message and have realized that it was exactly what I needed to hear at the beginning of a new year. What else could be a better resolution than to be more kind--AKA: fostering positive relationships?

I love the wisdom from C.S. Lewis, which President Worthen quoted:

"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship...There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal...But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit..."

This truth is something I wish to ponder everyday! Cliche, I know, but can you truly imagine the results of all of us reading, believing, and thinking about this every single day? So this Divine Signature is just a little reminder to you and me to recognize divinity--in others and in yourself!